Rejected but not Defeated

It's been a rollercoaster of a ride this past month, transitioning from urban culture to rural customs and a schedule that breathed serving and ministry to one that has involved rest and reflection.  We are doing our best to live in the present as we entrust God with all the uncertainties that lie ahead; all the questions swimming through our thoughts.  Surprisingly, I feel a deep sense of peace as the days unfold one at a time.

Something I have been anticipating for months (aside from Chipotle) is the return back to my women's group on Monday nights.  I have looked forward to hearing how God has been moving in each person's heart as we enter back into that priceless gift of community.  Not only do we share some laughs while gathering around the table, but we also get the occasional perk of leaving with a giant bag of clothes from someone's closet-gleaning expenditure.  Ahh, the many benefits of the ya-ya sisterhood.    

 

Two nights ago, my mates and I made the decision to spend our alloted time performing a kind deed for our neighbors.  Neighbor in the literal sense - we determined to bake and bestow some goodies in an attempt to foster friendship and community with the neighbors down the street.  As the gooey treats filled the house with sugary scents, we all felt a sense of excitement in our attempt to be Christ on display through this small act of love.

Ten houses later my eagerness turned to disappointment.  Though a few houses hesitatingly accepted our gifts, others flagrantly rejected us.  One actually responded by turning the porch light on, looking directly at us through a window, and turning the light back off.  Ouch.  Here we were, 5 young innocent-looking women with plates of compassion in our hands, receiving reactions of shock as if we were involved in a conspiracy to poison all who took a taste.  One saving grace was our final house - a birthday party with several 4-year-olds running around on sugar highs greeted us with cheers and applause.  They received TWO plates of cookies.

I suppose I came into this moment with high expectations - hopes that people would feel loved, and perhaps make a new friend.   And maybe, just maybe we might receive an invitation to come in and stay a while.  Alas, this was not the case.  I quickly became aware of the walls that we surround ourselves with - not just in the figurative sense but also literally, as the walls of our homes act as cocoons where we lock away our lives.  I became conscious of a state of fear as the faces revealed questions of "Are you here to hurt me?"  and "What's REALLY in those cookies?"  Some even thought there was a catch, as we were offered money in exchange for this deed.  

Perhaps the days of yore are gone.  Perhaps I expected too much too quickly.  Yet there's something inside of me that screams NO, you were not created for isolation.  You are designed for each other.  And as I ponder the grand scheme of things, the monumental task of fostering community in a nation where independence from others is the name of the game, I can't help but become overwhelmed.  

And then I give it to God.  

While it's true that we mustn't stand by while this detachment separates us from all we are created to be, there exists a need for surrender for fear of becoming buried in discouragement and frustration.  Though I grieve the loss of the goodness that can indeed exist, I still choose to remain undefeated as we co-labor with the one who accomplishes all things with a love that has already defeated death.  

Yes, even death on a cross.